Last time....

This is the last time I'll be haunt by my past.

Secondary School life had passed 2years, I'm in Poly for the seond yrs yet I can't help thinking of the past. What should I do? I think I'll type all my memories here and leave it, I'm going to lock/seal up all these memories.

I joined deyi@2001, I went in that school alone. None of my primary school mates were there. I was in 107, I knew none of them. The first few weeks were pretty hard to pass but the rest was enjoyable. I mixed and hanged up with a group of friends, (Wang Peng, Alvin, Wei chuan, Qing Hong, Joshua, Chee wei, Pius.) We were good friends and we did everything together till end of secondary 4, although all of us in different class. These were the friends from 107 & 207. ( Now we are no longer friends(perhaps)I did something v terrible to them.)

Then I went on to 309 in secondary 3, I went to that class with 2 other guys (joshua & vincent) And as for the rest of the class, I knew no one. But we quickly bond together and all the guys were together. Secondary 3 & 4 life pace was pretty fast, everyone was rushing for the Os. However, there was 1 lesson which 3 guys told rubbish. The chinese lesson, 3 of us (Me, Joshua, Jin wen) will chat through the lesson. Os arrived and result was released, both of them did better than me and went ahead with their own plans while I have to replan everything.

3months in JC, I went to MJC while all my friends went to NYJC, SRJC,AJC...etc. None of my close friends went to MJC. So I was alone again. Every morning in MJC was a torture and a nightmare. I knew no one in school and no matter where I stand, I felt awkward and out of place, It was terrible. Even when I got a class 05S211, it was still the same. Although I got friends (Ronald, Bing Long , Norris) and we did lots of stuffs and got into troubles together. One of them was: We asked everyone in the class to skip math lesson, and almost all the guys skipped the lesson and we got caught. The next day, we were asked to apologize to the teacher and seek for forgiveness.
Now the two of them are still in MJ but I'm no longer in MJC. I spent a fun and interesting 3 months there and Ronald, Bing long and Norris, they were great friends.

Jun Ren, one of best friend, who lived near me. It has been awhile since we last chat. We used to chat lots of stuffs as well but now, perhaps you are busy with your stuffs. Or Maybe I did a terrible thing to you and you can't forgive me.

There was this girl who I really liked, but guess its time to let go and forget about it. I'm always watching her back, don't know when did I started staring at her back. I'll always take the long route to go home just to stop by her block. I still give gifts to her but no reply at all, haiz. Standing aimlessly at the block and looking at it, just praying to be able to see her. I heard that she doesn't like people who smoke, fight and scolding vulgarity.

Joshua, you told me this before,You hoped that we can remind like this even after we graduated from Deyi. I'm sorry but I destroyed this hope of yours. I can't turn back anymore or rather I don't want to turn back anymore. Perhaps everything went wrong from the time the Os results was released. I've never imagine or dream of myself going into a Poly but right now I'm in a Poly. Even though 1years had passed in Poly but I still can't help thinking that why am I in a Poly.

Byebye.....all these memories, They were happy moments at that time but now it had become sad memories for me. I got to throw them away or else I will have to carry on my life with sadness every night. And I'll have to wake up every morning, blaming myself for all the wrong things I have done.

No Hp......

Left my handphone @ my friend's house (10 blocks away from my block) today is the second day without my hp..wonder got anyone Msg or call me or not.....haha. Sorry to those who is trying to contact me urgently.....

But who cares.....I got the channel for World cup, I will just stuff myself with world cup matches....ARGH!!!!......Netherlands and Italy.....I support these 2 countries. And I'm anti-ENGLAND, they sucks. For the opening match, they had to win by an own goal.......

So don't try to contact me ....u can try contacting me after 6pm cause maybe I'll go and take back my HP.....

ALcoHol

Went to the Virtuoso XIII then want to watch soccer so we stopped by a place where there is a TV telecasting soccer. We ordered a jug of tiger...drank a glass++. Terrible feeling........I alighted at the stop before my actual or usual stop. I wanted to walk a path that I used to walk......everything was still the same.(Ard 2345) This is a v special path to me.....there were happy and sad memories along this path.
It was a short journey yet full of memories......how pathetic I felt I was!!!!!
I.....hated myself. However, when I choose not to hate myself.....I must hate someone else. But I chose to hate myself. I forced myself to do things I don't like or never will do. I forced myself to follow a norm. I forced myself to be happy and laugh. I forced myself never to cry. I forced myself to keep the promises. I forced myself to...........

Late for Test

Woke up and found out is 8.30am in the morning......rush out of the house. Started running towards the taxi stop and found it full of people. Rushed off to the other side of the road....tryin' v hard to find a cab but luck wasn't on my side. Then when i cross the zebra-crossing...got 1 taxi then i try my luck and yes...it stopped. Sit inside the taxi and told the uncle, I was in a rush. Then rain start pouring.......it was really heavy. Can't even see the traffic well yet the Uncle was driving 90Km/h ++. The Uncle was listening to Yes933, and I, looking out the window. Praying hard that I'll reach on 9. Reached the exam hall on 9am....went in and then sat down and My tutor came over and said," So late ar!" During the journey, I kept thinking back of events that happened 2 -3 years ago. It was terrible.....I wonder why. Anyway, can't possible stop my time at 2-3 yrs ago. If I really did stop my time, everyone will be vvvv ahead of me. What am I looking for exactly? Who and what will I become after 10 years......without my knowing....17 years had passed and I looked back. How come I change so much? Is this the real me?

Long time nv blog....

Bloggin' during common test week....abit weird. Now is in the afternoon, 1242pm.

Hot weather out there.....have been remembering things that I shouldn't....just couldn't shake them off my mind....." Why is it so hard to forget"

HaizZZzzzz....... realise my own mistakes is the biggest regret and mistake in my life.

I just can't let go of it....I don't know what is the reasons, but I just can't let go of (________).

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Thoughts for the last 2years:

Why did you want me to keep such promises?

Why did you leave me behind and left on your own without telling me?

Why did you have to tell me....if you keep it as a secret...I won't be in such a terrible state.

Why are you showing off infront of me....just F**K off......

Why did you stab me at behind? What did I do?

Why am I alone?

Why? Why? Why!!!!!

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Why did I blame everyone when I'm in fault? Why did I chase all my close friends away? Why?
I don't know what were the reasons, but the fact is that everything & everyone is gone....those I cherish v much. I'm alone now, not because they left me is because I chased them away. Hahahaha.....